Cesar appreciates support, accountability at the Mission

Cesar is grateful for the many lessons he’s learned in program.

The youngest of 13 children, Cesar was raised by a single mother after his parents separated shortly after his birth. He never saw his father again. That early abandonment became the root of much of the trauma he would carry throughout his life.“I started drugs at a very young age. My mom wasn’t around very much; she was always working. It left us kids alone by ourselves a lot, so I was raised by my brothers and sisters,” Cesar recalled. “Since they drank, I started drinking. I was around 3 or 4 years old when I started to understand what it was. By age 7, I had my first beer.”

Shortly after his first drink, Cesar’s brother gave him marijuana. That same day, Cesar learned how to “huff gas from a minibike,” he shared. “I didn’t really care for it; it didn’t do anything for me then. But that’s where it started, at 7 years old.”

Cesar’s drinking increased in junior high, and he started using drugs in high school. “In ninth grade, marijuana really started coming into play, then LSD, then cocaine and alcohol for sure. That’s when it really started becoming an addiction.”

As Cesar’s addiction deepened, he began to isolate himself out of shame. Moving from place to place, finding random places to sleep, Cesar’s family became worried. “It was hard for them … I didn’t want them to find me. When my addiction got really bad, I was suicidal. I would drink to the point that I didn’t want to wake up.”

The damage caused by his drinking was enormous. Cesar was hospitalized with pancreatitis, his liver was functioning at 44 percent, he was on the verge of cirrhosis, and he developed vertigo. His brother took him in with the promise that Cesar would no longer drink.

And for a while, Cesar kept that promise. He began physically healing, got a full-time job, enrolled in culinary classes, and “felt really, really good,” he said. But after the death of one of his brothers, Cesar relapsed. His brother could no longer help him. “He told me, ‘It’s not because I don’t want you here. It’s not because I don’t love you. It’s because I can’t do this again.’ So, I went back to the streets.”

Cesar knew he needed help, and a friend connected him with the Mission. “They hold me accountable; it’s a good program. I’m blessed to be here. It’s going really well,” he said. “There have been challenges, for sure, but we get to go to church, we have daily Bible studies, and go on outreach trips. It’s really neat to be here.

“It’s teaching me it’s okay to not be intoxicated; it’s okay to be sober. There are things I’m learning to put in place when I feel like drinking. The program is helping me stay sober.”

After graduation, Cesar plans on going back to school, finding employment, and pursuing his passion for the culinary arts. For now, Cesar is grateful to the Mission. “It’s been a blessing how much I’ve learned. I owe it all to God and I thank Him for bringing me here.”