‘It was God. There’s literally no other way’

After a major health scare, Jessica has found healing while at the Mission.

When Jessica arrived at the Mission, her drinking had nearly destroyed her. She was drinking all day, every day, and had recently spent more than a month in the hospital. Her breathalyzer reading was almost 0.46, a potentially fatal level, and her doctor told her she needed a new liver.

Jessica’s struggle with alcohol began long before her health scare. Growing up, Jessica was involved in church. Her mother was a praise team leader, but at home, her parents would “party” while maintaining what Jessica describes as a “secret life” — party hard on Saturday, church on Sunday.

“It made me really struggle with my relationship with God because I did see how God could work,” Jessica said. “But I would hear about how we’re supposed to be living, and how we’re supposed to walk with God, and when I was at home it wasn’t like that. But then on Sunday mornings it was different, so it was confusing.”

At 18, Jessica met a man six years older than her. Their relationship lasted 12 years. Looking back, Jessica realizes she was searching for someone who understood her and made her feel seen.

“Our upbringings were similar, so he knew what I was feeling,” she said. “I think I looked up to him, especially since he was older than me, and I felt like he was doing fine in life, even with the struggles that he went through.”

But the relationship became physically, emotionally and mentally abusive. Jessica began to "cope" with the abuse through alcohol. When both her mother and father passed away, her drinking only increased.

Shame also pushed Jessica further from God. “My relationship with God was very distant,” she said. “I knew He was there, but I wouldn’t talk to Him. I knew the lifestyle I was living was not pleasing to God and I felt the shame and guilt of knowing what I was doing, and who I was with, was wrong.”

Then came the hospitalization and the warning that she needed a new liver.

At the Mission, Jessica began to “fully surrender” her life to God. About a month later, she returned to her doctor for bloodwork. He was stunned by the change. “He told me I have the liver of a high schooler, that I’m completely healed, and that he has no answer for me,” she said.

“I looked at him and told him that I had the answer—it was God. There’s literally no other way.”

Jessica’s time at the Mission has marked significant milestones in her sobriety, including her birthday, her parents’ birthdays and the anniversaries of their deaths. It’s the first time since 2016 that she has experienced these “super hard” days sober. Jessica is also grateful that her relationship with God has been restored, “I never doubted God,” she said. “I know I am His."